Thursday, September 11, 2014

Parents Should Quit Humiliating Kids As Punishments On Social Media

Every single day you hear how a parent posted a video on Facebook or through other social medias to publicly humiliate their children as a sort of punishment. This bothers me on so many levels. Is it they think they will get all of this media attention and fame? I really think these parents need to realize this is a form of bullying.

Recently one really pushed my button. It was a mom that sold her daughters birthday present, which happened to be a pair of Taylor Swift concert tickets, online because her daughter was acting like a brat. First of all you humiliated her by going public then to make it worse she started name calling. She said her daughter is too spoiled and didn't appreciate the tickets. Well geez I wonder who spoiled her? Now you feel its time to give her a lesson by letting the world know all about it?! Now that you decide to start setting limits you thin she is magically going to start to appreciate things and not throw any fits?! Not to mention the trust issues you created with your child among many other emotions of anger, disappointment, resentment, embarrassment and so on. There are many better ways to handle that mom, like starting with a discussion.

I have 3 kids and luckily our older son now in college never really warranted a severe punishment. We have had some serious talks though and had to punish him based on the situation. Its starts at home by talking with your child not posting it to the freaking internet! Its about understanding why they made their choice and how to move forward. Its about giving support to one another and if needed seek outside counseling. There are several people most likely in your immediate life willing to help like family members, friends, teachers, doctors, neighbors, counselors at school, or if needed professional counselors. Working together through the situation as an united group to help sort through these struggles. Parenting is like trial and error or process of elimination! We constantly learn new ways to handle situations and better to deal with our emotions.

As parents we should set good examples like handling situations in a positive way. How would she like it if her daughter posted personal things about her parenting methods or something she felt should be in confidence? I suspect sh would be very upset and embarrassed and she is an adult and would have a hard time dealing with it. How does she think her teenage daughter with sky high emotions will handle it? We preach to our kids to be kind and think about their words and actions and how they make others feel. We should show compassion and stick up for others.

I hope these parents start to think about the short and  long term consequences these kids are going to deal with. Truly I hope they start to put the needs of their children before their own selfish reason to make a public point. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

What Happened to Playing After School? Endless Camp and Activities Overload!

So this summer I tried repeatedly to line up play dates for my girls just to be told that between sports and summer camps they couldn't fit it in. So your 5 and 7yr old have such a packed summer schedule they cant fit in a play date to run around our backyard and just hang out?!

Towards the end of the school year I went over all the camp options and asked my girls which ones they wanted to do. I told them to pick a couple between 10 options! So I signed them up for a half-day week long art class, a nature camp and farm camp. They did the art camp together then each did their own camps respectively (one nature and one farm). I wanted to leave plenty of time for just regular play. I did not want my summer to consist of getting up and rushing out the door early every morning then bring back cranky kids to rush and make dinner on the go while driving to practice! I wanted to enjoy my summer and explore and have fun. We had a great summer!!!! But so many of my friends were non stop having kids in multiple things and then complain they have no time. Or we could not fit in a couple of hours of good ol' fashion play time where they just run around without scheduled activities! Seems like that summer is a thing of the past. Now its a competition to see how many camps and activities you can sign your future prodigy up for.

Now that school is back in we limited the girls to 1 activity. Our older daughter made the top select team around here that consist of 2 practices per week with games and tournaments on the weekend. Our other daughter is not in anything at the moment but looking to start gymnastics here soon. When my kids get off the bus its homework time and snack. Then hopefully some good playing outside with the neighbor kids. Being that our girls are only in the 1st and 2nd grade I feel its important they get enough rest for their bodies and minds so I try not to overload them. Ive contemplated introducing a musical instrument that would only be 30 minutes once a week but other than that its a 1 at a time activity-sport rule.

I am not trying to raise the next superstar I am just trying to raise happy and healthy kids. I encourage them to try new activities just to open their minds to new possibilities. If they don't have fun then at least they tried something new. I don't want to join the unspoken "How Does She Do It All or the Im Too Busy With Running Around Like A Maniac" club. Now I am not judging as each family should do what makes them happy and feel its best for their family. Im simply saying that is not what I want for mine. Even my own friends I always try to listen and encourage them for their choices but choose to have more time doing other things with my time. Between school, their 1 activity, being with my family (parents, uncle, ect), weekend games, going over to friends house, having them over for dinner we keep so busy I cant imagine adding on much more!!!! Its amazing how busy we are!!!!

I sure hope I can keep on this path. As kids get older I understand they get more involved and they can maintain their healthy habits and understand their limits more so than a 6 and 7yr old. As long as my kids are happy, healthy and kind I am very happy. As long as we for the most part stick to our routines (ready for bed by 8 then 20 mins reading in bed by 8:30) I feel they will have the sufficient amount of sleep to learn new information for the next day of school. Now sometimes this doesn't happen but for the most part I try to aim for that. Like I aim for healthy eating habits and treating people with kindness and respect. Those are the moments I am grateful to have more time just being at home.